lastday and goodbye
I meant to see the World Cup final at 2:30am last night. But due to lack of sleep yesterday, I was just too tired. I started feeling sick last night which I do not want so I just went to bed. ;(
Today is my last day in Kunming. Packing, picking up last minute items (a good Chinese grammar book is on my list.) Note: I’m not bringing back souvenirs. I have to drag a year’s worth of stuff back home and I just don’t have room for souvenirs for people. Sorry about that, I just don’t have that option.
Random notes:
Police in China. They don’t do anything except harass street vendors for taxes. People don’t like or trust them. The private guards that work places are better but also don’t do anything.
Relationships in China: Much more pragmatic than us. Much less about ‘do I love this person’. Much more about ‘can this person provide/help raise a kid.’ Almost business like. I’m not the only westerner to have this opinion of Chinese relationships. Cherri asked me why all foreigners think this. I think this is because life was so tough (and still is in the countryside) that you had to think that way.
Religion in China: lots of Buddhists but overall not much religion. In one way I miss it, in another way it’s refreshing.
Making friends with Chinese: It’s very hard. There’s lot of friendly so it’s easy to strike up conversations and chitchat (plus the whole English practice thing but you know my thoughts on that.). But actually getting to know and become real friends with Chinese is hard. I think it’s because we’re just different. This aspect was very hard for me to deal with. I thought I was prepared and would have no trouble making Chinese friends here. After all I am married to a Chinese gal and have Chinese friends back home. I was wrong. I’ve made a couple here, that’s it. Most of the other foreigners are this way too. Even the ones who speak really good Chinese mostly hang out with other Chinese speaking foreigners. I’ve made friends with Koreans, Thais, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Europeans, … you name it. The hardest has been Chinese. No question.
Politics: Thanks to the large number of foreigners from all over, the conversations here are much more interesting and thought provoking.
Thai politics, Korean Politics, Cambodian politics, Australian Politics [congrats on the first woman PM], … fresh things to talk and think about.
Ha, i amazes me how much effort back home goes into proving how any particular problem is “the other party’s” fault. From now on if any of y’all go down that path, I will walk away from the conversation. Put that effort into proposing a solution and examples of how other counties have tried to solve the issue. The US has no unique problems. Period. Immigration? haha, name any developed country that doesn’t have an immigration problem. OK, maybe Sweden and Japan. 
Chinese beds: Planks of wood with pads laid on them. Not comfortable at first. Now, after a year, I’m good with them, but in the beginning, no.
Martial arts: Not like in the movies where everyone is a kungfu expert. Outside of the Tai Chi (In mandarin it’s pronounced Tai Ji) class last semester I’ve met one person who did any martial art.
Development in the cities: Breakneck pace. Lots of development and they’re really good at building things quickly. (The quality however, is not so good. Think Japanese cars from the early 80s)
Development in the countryside: not so much. There is some, but most of China’s wealth is just in the couple dozen biggest cities. The government is putting tons of money into building roads and highways everywhere.
Chinese alcohol: is nasty. Bai Jiu (white alcohol) is like engine cleaner. Now, if you soak a bunch a fruit in some for a month it takes the edge off and starts to taste decent. Chinese wine, i’ve had one bottle that tastes alright. “Great Wall” wine is gross.
Personal relationships: guan xi (pronouced “gwan she”) is everything here. People don’t give a rats butt about anyone they don’t know. They’ll watch a thief steal from someone and not say anything. However, if they know someone they’ll look out for them. “This is a good friend of my third cousin on my mom’s older brother’s wife’s side”. At that point, they start looking out for each other.
Butts: Yes, that thing you sit on. I used to think no Chinese had butts (men or women). While that’s mostly true, some of the women in a few of the minories have small butts. Han people (>95% of the population) don’t have butts.
One child policy: This one is interesting. This policy only applies to the Han people in the cities. If you are a minority, or are a villager, then you can have as many kids as you want. There is some resentment over this. The government is worried about 1 child having to take care of 2 parents and 4 grandparents so they’ve deemed that if both people are single children, then that couple can have two children.
English practice: no new thoughts here, though here’s some advice for anyone coming to China to study Chinese. If you are looking for language exchange partners and if, after having already spoken English for some time, ask if you can practice Chinese and they respond “How about if you talk in Chinese and I talk in English”. Leave. Walk away. Don’t call them again. They are not interested in helping you, having an equal exchange or being a friend. They are only interested in using you for English practice. You will get very little Chinese help from them and your Chinese will not improve any. Been there, done that, too many times to count. I’ve also heard and seen my friends bit by that.
Music: Chinese like bubblegum pop. The Chinese music scene isn’t as diverse as the western scene (and I say this as someone who has a limited exposure back home.) At bars, you can seen the crowds switch. Pop comes on, the chinese come to the dance floors and the westerners leave. and vice versa. My tastes are closer to the Chinese on this. I don’t especially like the stuff the other westerners do.
western chasers: There is no shortage of Chinese women who want to hook up with Western guys. And they hang out at the bars dressed up and some of them are very attractive. While percentage wise this number is small, 0.00001% of 1.6 billion people is still a lot of people. And lots (most?) of western guys are all to happy to hook up with them (and by hookup I mean a one nighter or a BJ in the bathroom) and I hate that this feeds a stereotype that western guys are here just to hook up with Chinese gals or that Chinese gals are easy. Note: this doesn’t apply to Germans. Dominic and Patrick, two of my German friends didn’t believe me when I told them this so I showed them. Some gal (very cute) came up to us and asked us where we were from. I told her Germany. You could see her face turn. haha, she went from super friends to couldn’t-get-out-of-there-quick-enough in less than 2 seconds. If I would have said America, I’m pretty certain she would have gone home with one of them. (I think they were a little pissed off at me for that.) I saw her hanging on another American guy about 20 minutes later. [Two guys I know, were comparing stories a while back, hot girl, bathroom, BJ,... Then they started discussing a little more... same girl, 30 minutes apart! haha ]
Western women aren’t as lucky. Not as many Asian guys are interested in Western women. Plus from what I gather, most Chinese men aren’t that attractive.
Side note: If you tell a Chinese person you’re from “the U.S.” in English. most won’t know where that is. You have to say America.
premarital sex in China: according to my Chinese friends, it’s becoming common in high school too. and in college i think it’s about as common as it is in the US.
Chinese horror movies: L..A..M..E.. not scary at all. just weird.
It’s been a good year. I’m very glad I did it. I recommend to anyone else thinking about it to do it. You’ll be glad you did.
When I came my goal was to become conversant before I left. Did I reach it? I’m not actually sure. I’ve been pretty burned out for the last month and not really interested in speaking with folks. I’m looking forward to a nice vacation where I can just relax and not stress. I think then I’ll know if I got as far as I wanted. My vocab has increased easily 20x. My grammar is better and my speaking and listening are definitely better also but I still have lots of trouble understanding folks when they talk. Even when they say words I know.
Whether I got as far as I wanted to……I’ll know when I return and take the JiaXun test.
Hope the blog was enjoyable to read.
“Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.”
Ruby’s gone
she left this morning. ;(
Her original plan was to meet for dinner at 6:30 and just have an early night since she had to be at the airport at 10 this morning.
That didn’t happen. haha At the last minute she changed her mind and decided she wanted to attend another friends birthday party. We show up and there’s a nice western food spread. Salad, olives, cheese, rosotto.
Oh man. cheese and olives. Wow, those tasted sooo good. It’s the simple things you miss and crave.
Lots of drinking and chatting.
Chinese parties and western parties are very different.
Western parties have lots of drinking; the women drink too. and lots of little groups of people chatting.
Chinese parties have lots of drinking too, but only the men. The women don’t drink much. And everyone sits around in one big group and talks. They don’t break off into little groups.
Also, if the kitchen isn’t tiny most parties end up in the kitchen. Chinese though keep it in the living room.
Around 1:30 we break up into two groups. One goes to kundu and the other goes to the hump. (Kunming was one of the stops for the flying tigers during WWII, flying over the himalayas, (the hump) )
I went to the hump and we end up dancing, drinking and watching the germany/uruguay game. Around 6am we decide to call it because Ruby has to get ready and meet her roommate for breakfast. and I discover I’ve lost my apartment key. Sigh… 2 days from leaving and I loose my key. Crap. Long story short, Fei Fei has a copy and I can get a copy from her but I end up having to wait until noon.
We meet Victoria and another friend of Ruby’s for breakfast where Jen and I are having to slap ourselves to stay awake. Then we accompany Ruby to the airport. Ruby checks in her luggage and is 8kg over the limit. 450RMB they charge her. ouch!
Ugh, hang out for a bit then say our goodbyes. ;(
It sunk in a little as we watched Ruby disappear into the security checkpoint.
I’ll post pics later. I’m meeting Joel and Royce for dinner tonight and have to leave soon.
I leave Kunming on Tues, day after tomorrow. I’ve started packing and it feels really weird. Actually, that’s being too nice. It feels like shit.
I’ll try to post once more (if I still have internet connection tomorrow) and wrap things up.
finals are over!
10 long months of studying my butt off have pretty much come to a close.
Finals were this week. I went in to the office today to get my certificate and final grades. Yunda is not the most organized. I have to wait til Monday to get it.
I passed but it was a struggle. I wasn’t taking it for a grade. If I was, I would have taken easier classes.
Sadly, that may have backfired a little. I’m tired of speaking Chinese and just wanna rest now. I’ll meet Lihua in Guangzhou soon and will have to talk with her family. I’m pretty sure they’re gonna want to know how much I’ve learned over the last 10 months. So we’ll see how that goes.
I’ve been goofing off these last couple days. Walking around town and checking things out. No pics, because to be honest, it looks the same as the pics I took before. (So go visit those. haha)
Though funnily enough, this afternoon I stopped off it Prague Cafe and studied there for about an hour and a half. I started a new Chapter in my reading comprehension book. Hopefully this habit sticks for a while. We’ll see.
I will leave Kunming next week. Spend some time with Lihua’s family and then we’ll go traveling around for a while. A nicely earned vacation.
This will be one of the last posts to the blog. Maybe one or two more.
Would I do it all over again?
Yes, in a heartbeat. Though since I’m married it’s been really, really tough. Even with the friends I’ve made here it’s been hard.
I would recommend to anyone thinking about it to just do it. I can’t recommend it enough. Without exception, every one and met who’s gone abroad to live/study is glad they did.
Would I choose Kunming again?
Not sure. The weather is nice here but there are places in China where the people are nicer and the food doesn’t give you stomach problems at least once a week.
Hope anyone who’s been reading this has enjoyed it. Thanks again to Robb for hosting. Dinner’s on me whenever I see you.
taunting mainlanders about Taiwan
Was at kundu last night with some friends and some random drunk guy came up and just joined our conversation. (Looking to practice his English of course. We didn’t switch to English.) Somewhere alongst the way the topic turned to Taiwan. He said he wanted to know our opinion on the topic. I spit out the usual canned “We’re foreigners. It’s between China and Taiwan. It’s not our issue.” phrase that usually deflates the issue and lets the conversation move on. That didn’t work. He insisted that Americans had chosen Taiwan’s side and that some day Taiwan will accept its place. (He also felt the need to throw in that communism is crap and then lectured us on how democracy is great. Apparently the contradictions in the escaped him.)
“Look, it’s not our issue. I don’t care. But I respect your opinion on the issue”
“NO! IT’S NOT AN OPINION! IT’S FACT!” he started yelling. This went on for about 5 minutes.
Ok, that’s it. I’ve had enough of this crap. You force your way into our conversation and then try to steer the conversation towards a topic you just wanna argue about? Saying “台湾国” (The country of Taiwan) is often enough to work Chinese into a froth.
It took all my strength not to bait this guy into a frenzy. I soooo wanted to. and it would have been so easy to do. We walked away and went and got shao kao. (Mmmmmmm, I’m gonna miss shao kao.)
Xue’s gone ;(
Xue is gone now too. ;( She doesn’t actually leave Kunming until Sunday morning but I wont’ see her again before then. I stopped by the physics building this evening as usual.
I’m was sad walking out knowing I won’t be back there. About 4 nights a week for the last 7 months (minus Jan and Feb when she was back home.) I spent there with her.
Wow, seeing that written out is weird. That should have helped my Chinese tremendously. I’m both ashamed to admit and a little angry it didn’t. I’m not mad at her though; I’m mad at myself. There are a couple reasons why I stopped talking Chinese with her but they don’t matter at this point.
I will miss Xue. I stopped seeing her as language exchange a long time ago, and started seeing her as my friend. She’s trying to get into a Uni in the US next fall (2011), so someday I might see her again.
(This friends leaving one by one thing is crap. )
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- Xue’s office
i have such a popular name
I’ve now met 4 other western guys named Matt, and know of two others on top of that. and I’ve met less than 60 other foreigners. sigh… and no, I really don’t like that.
street vendor honey
This old guy wanders around near campus. I think the only English word he knows is “Honey!” and he says it every time a foreigner makes eye contact.
The honey is ok. He has white honey and regular honey. The white is really sweet, almost too sweet.
honey man
two more friends left
佟心(Tong Xin) left yesterday. Went up north to stay with her grandma for the summer.
悠芳 （you fang) left today. Went back to Thailand.
I’ll miss them both.
I had a lot of trouble understanding YouFang when she spoke. Thai accent is difficult for me to understand. One of the reasons I really liked her is that she speaks very little English. I’ve never spoke more than a couple words of English to her. I went to lunch with her yesterday afternoon. The other 4 people at the table spoke both Thai and Chinese. haha The one other guy there introduced himself “Hi, my name is Sam.” I don’t care what your English name is. “What’s your Chinese?” name I asked him. He kept badgering me to speak English with him. I didn’t talk with him in either language for the rest of the meal. The women at the table were more polite. The meal was good. A couple things I hadn’t had before. Very tasty. Sorry no photos.
Tong Xin’s English level is close to my Chinese level. Which I like. Unfortunately, she’s like most other Chinese college students. She wants to speak in English as much as possible, and switches to English as often as possible.
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- tong xin and I
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- you fang (Thai name: Kanokwan Sangsowat) and I
China, communism and capitolism; and fashion
I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while but every time I’ve tried it ends up being a long winding post, so I’ll cut to the quick and leave it at that. Just my observations here.
China is _extremely_ capitolistic. More so than the US. It’s laissez-faire at it’s most vicious. We’re talking sell-your-own-mother-for-a-buck vicious. Regulations are few and the ones that do exist are fairly easily skirted.
China isn’t really communist. It’s just an unchecked one-party system that has a population with an ingrained mentality of doing what it’s told. I think the party takes advantage of the Confucius respect-for-authority mindset.
Chinese fashion is interesting. High heels with jeans, shorts, whatever. Black stockings under shorts/skirts with tennis shoes. Basically see-thru black print shirts, usually with black bras underneath. The Italian gals cringe but I figure that in 10 years time, China will have their fashion figured out. Right now they are copying everyone and trying to merge it together, and failing horribly, but I think they’ll figure it out.
Paula’s last day here
There’s a Chinese saying that translates as: “There is no banquet which does not end.”
Paula leaves tomorrow morning at 7. Tonight we had a very small get together ~10 people to say goodbye. It’s a sad night with more to come. I have two other friends that leave this weekend as well. ;( The party started at her and Mei Li’s place and then moved to Ganesh to watch the Italia vs Slovakia game. We didn’t get there until 60 minutes into the game but the end was definitely the best part. (Italians get very passionate about football.) I will likely see Paula again. Her dad lives in Hays, KS, which is 10 miles from where I grew up, Victoria. Gives me another excuse to go back.
It’s really nice hanging out with so many other from other countries. Li Ming, my Cambodian friend whose real name is Bunruin (very hard to pronounce, which is why we all call him Li Ming) got to talking about Cambodia. His parents lived through the Pol Pot regime. Part of the conversation he was talking about how they executed anyone who could speak Chinese or any other language besides Cambodian. They rounded up all the educated folks and killed them. His father knows Chinese but avoided death by faking not knowing it; things like turning a chinese book upside down pretending to not know which way is up.
You read about things like this but hearing it from someone who lived it, makes it hit home harder. Hearing it from someone you think of as a friend, really hits home.